


Not What He Expected

by Kaylafagan



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Also I'm so bad at summaries forgive me, Fluff, Hux is probably ooc, In a way, Kylo busts his knuckles kind of on purpose, Kylo probably is too, M/M, Nightmares, Self Harm, oh well
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:22:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5667583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylafagan/pseuds/Kaylafagan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo has nightmares. Hux does too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What He Expected

Kylo Ren was good at a lot of things. He could wield his lightsaber with ease. He could make prisoners wilt with a look, even with the mask on. He could fight well. And, of course, he could use the Force.

Kylo Ren was good at a lot of things. But, he was not good at sleeping. Every night, he would fall asleep, just to wake again an hour or so later, grateful that his room was soundproof, because _fuck_ , he had been screaming again. He tried everything he could think of. He had taken pills. He had exhausted himself by training too hard and destroying things. He'd stayed up for days, hoping that when he did finally fall into bed, he would be too tired to dream. None of it had worked. 

Tonight was no different. He'd gone to sleep and woken up too soon, sweaty and panting, feeling as though he were choking. 

He threw the blankets off of himself and swung his legs around to hang off of the side of his bed. His hair was sticking to the sheen of sweat covering his forehead and cheeks. With a trembling hand, he brushed the hair back, off of his face. Closing his eyes, he sighed and leaned forward, elbows on his knees. Still shaking, he decided that maybe a shower would help him pull himself together. 

When he was finished, he thought about trying to go back to sleep, but the thought of getting back into his bed was wholly unappealing. Instead, Kylo decided he would go for a walk around the ship. Of nothing else, he could go down to the training room and hit things until the sun came up. Yes, he decided, that's what he would do. 

Not wanting to risk running into anyone looking so shaken, he pulled a set of heavy black robes over his sweatpants and t-shirt and stuck his helmet on his head. He threw on some shoes and headed down to the training room.

He didn't see anyone on his way, which he should have expected, he supposed. It was quite late; everyone would be asleep. It was better that way. There would be no one to stop or interrupt him on his way. 

When Kylo got to the training room, there was no one in it, not that he had expected there to be. He slid his robes off, pulled off his helmet, and put both on a bench. He tied his hair back while he looked around, figuring out what it was he actually wanted to do. He had left his lightsaber in his room, which was probably for the best. He doubted that Hux would appreciate him coming down here in the middle of the night to destroy things without an explanation. (Like hell was he ever going to tell anyone, let alone _Hux_ , about his nightmares. He couldn't admit a weakness like that.)

Finally, he settled on just hitting a punching bag. Choosing one that was already hung, he went over and hit it, forgoing taping his wrists, like he knew he ought to. It felt so good to hit something, to take out his frustration with his own weakness, he started hitting harder. It hurt, he knew his kuckles were going to bleed, but he didn't care. 

He didn't know how long he had been at it, he had slipped out of his own head a while ago. Eventually, Kylo realized there was someone else in the room. He didn't know how; maybe he had heard them, maybe he had sensed them. He turned, breathing hard and shaking, to see who it was, and found himself staring at General Hux. Apparently, it seemed, the man had been staring at him. 

Hux glanced down at Kylo's hands, and looked back up at his face. 

"So, instead of destroying the equipment, you've decided to destroy your own hands?" Hux asked sarcastically. 

"I would've thought you'd appreciate the change, General," Kylo tried to answer coolly, but it came out sounding nearly petulant. 

Hux considered Kylo, noting the fine way he was trembling, and just shook his head in response. He jerked his chin toward Kylo's hands, looking again at the man's bleeding knuckles. "That looks like it hurts," he pointed out. 

Kylo... had no idea what to respond. It almost sounded like Hux cared. Which was odd. 

"They'll have to be cleaned and wrapped," His continued when Kylo hadn't answered. 

"I'll go down to medical when I'm finished here,"  said Kylo, completely baffled. He could handle Hux when he was angry. Or irritated. Or sarcastic. He had no idea what to do with a _kind_ Hux. He hoped his face wasn't showing his confusion, since he couldn't hide it behind his mask. 

"Lord Ren," Hux said carefully, "I think perhaps you should be finished now. It wouldn't do for you to cause more damage to yourself."

Kylo stared at Hux, trying to figure out what the man wanted. There had to be _something_. Hux didn't care about him, didn't like him. Kylo knew that. But he couldn't think of anything Hux could possibly want at this time of night. Especially anything that Hux would be willing to _hunt him down_   _for_ in the middle of the night. Sighing, he decided the direct approach would be best, so he just asked, "Do you need something, General?"

Hux looked... let down at that? No, that couldn't be right. And yet. His disappointment was barely perceptible, but it was definitely there. Kylo's confusion must have shown, because Hux schooled his features into a neutral expression. 

"No, I don't need anything, Lord Ren. I was merely concerned," Hux said with a shrug. 

"Why?"

The word was out of Kylo's mouth before he thought about how it would be taken by Hux. He tried to backtrack, stumbling over his words in his confusion and exhaution. "I mean, just, you-"

"Because," Hux said shortly, "I found you beating the life out of a punching bag at three in the morning, when you should be asleep. Because you've hurt yourself, and ignoring it, in favor of going  _back_  to beating the life out of the bag."

"Shouldn't you also be asleep then, if I should be?" Kylo asked, latching onto the only part of Hux's response that had made sense. 

Hux didn't answer him. He just rolled his eyes at Kylo, and then approached him. Slowly, as if giving Kylo time to pull away, he reached out and gently grasped Kylo's wrist, holding his arm out so that Kylo's hand was closer to his face and he could see how bad the damage was. He dropped Kylo's hand, and repeated the action with the other hand. Then, he sighed quietly. 

"I'd like for you to let me take care of this for you. If you'd rather someone else do it, I'd like if you would let me at least walk you to medical," he said.  

Kylo felt odd and off balanced, wondering what would possess Hux to make such an uncharacteristically caring request. But he decided, eventually, that it would be better to keep the number of people who knew about this to a minimum. 

"I guess I would rather you do it, if you're going to be insistent," Kylo said to Hux.

Hux didn't say anything. He just nodded and turned, walking over to the bench where Kylo had dropped his things when he walked in. He picked up the robes and mask, and crossed back over to the other man. 

"You wore these just to come down here from your quarters?" Hux asked curiously. 

Kylo took his robes from Hux. "I don't like for anyone to see me without them," he admitted, not meeting Hux's eyes. 

"I've noticed. But it's the middle of the night. No one would be awake to see you," Hux said, sounding almost confused, and almost, _almost_ sad.

Kylo just shrugged. "Didn't want to risk it," he said simply, taking his helmet from Hux.

Hux turned again, and walked toward the door of the training room. Kylo followed without having to be told, fighting the urge to put his helmet back on. Hux was right, really; who would be around to see them? 

Kylo followed Hux as he led him to his quarters. He didn't know what he had expected, but being taken to Hux's own room wasn't it. 

Hux opened the door and motioned for Kylo to go first, gaze definitely jumping from the helmet to Kylo's face as he passed. Hux looked pleased that he had left it off, although Kylo had no idea why. 

Hux's room was as bare as Kylo's own. Bed, wardrobe, desk, door leading to Hux's bathroom. Not feeling comfortable sitting on Hux's bed, Kylo pulled out the chair at the desk and sat in it, dropping his helmet on his desk itself and unfastening his robes. He slipped his arms out of the sleeves, while Hux went into the bathroom to retrieve his med kit. When he came back out, he sat down on the bed and said, "If you don't want to sit on the bed, bring your chair over here."

Kylo did as he was told, choosing to drag the chair over to the side of the bed. He watched as Hux pulled his hands over to rest in his lap and bent his head over them, and decided to at least try to make conversation. "So, General, why _are_ you awake at this hour?" 

Hux's shoulders stiffened, but he didn't look up. Kylo didn't think he was going to get a response, but then Hux said, "My dreams aren't always exactly.. Pleasant. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I went for a walk."

Kylo was glad that Hux was looking at his hands, because he wouldn't want the man to see the shocked expression on his face. Hux just admitted a _weakness_. To Kylo, of all people. Although, if Kylo was being honest, having nightmares didn't sound like a weakness when Hux said it. To Kylo's surprise, he actually felt bad for Hux. He knew how the man felt. 

"I'm sorry," Kylo said earnestly. Hux just shrugged. Kylo expected Hux to ask him the same question, but he stayed quiet, focusing on his work. Kylo decided not to try again to talk to him. The man didn't seem interested. 

When Hux was finished, he put his things back in his med kit without looking up at Kylo. Kylo watched him do so, still not speaking. Finally, Hux looked up. 

"Care to tell me why _you_ are awake, Lord Ren?" he asked, sounding like he genuinely wanted to know. 

"Please stop calling me that," Kylo asked him quietly. It felt horribly informal to him, especially, for some reason, coming from Hux.

"My apologies... Kylo?" Hux said, sounding hesitant. Kylo just gave him a small nod. 

"And, General, it seems I am awake for the same reason you are." He studied Hux's face, not wanting to miss any reaction the man had to the information. 

Hux just nodded. He seemed to state at Kylo's face for a moment, and then he cleared his throat and said, almost too quietly for Kylo to hear, "You look different from what I expected, without the mask."

"What is it you were expecting, _General_?" Kylo asked tightly, drawing in on himself. He hadn't noticed before, but, he supoosed, this was the first time Hux had seen him without the mask. The realization, along with the general's comment, made him feel defensive and exposed.

"I don't know," Hux said contemplatively. "I always thought maybe there was a mark on your face, maybe a scar or something similar," he continued, reaching up tentatively and running a finger gently across Kylo's face. Kylo tensed; his breath caught, but he didn't pull away. "Something to justify wearing the mask all of the time," Hux finished, dropping his hand into his lap.

Kylo's gaze fell from Hux's face, following the general's hand. Although it had made him uncomfortable, he wished that hand would go back to his face. It had been a long time since he had been touched by anyone, outside of medical. It had been even longer since he had been touched so gently. 

Reaching out carefully, Kylo put his hand on top of Hux's. Gently, very gently, because what if he was reading this wrong? 

Kylo hadn't realized that he was expecting Hux to recoil until Hux didn't. Instead, the man reached back up to Kylo's face with his other hand and, tenderly cupping Kylo's jaw, he drew Kylo's face toward his own and kissed him. It wasn't much, just a chaste press of lips, but Kylo's eyes slipped shit. The hand on top of Hux's tightened, and the other came up to grasp Hux's shirt, carefully though, so he didn't disturb the bandages. 

When Hux pulled away, Kylo tried to follow him, but His used the hand on Kylo's face to stop him. Kylo's face fell, he knew it did, and Hux's thumb traces gentle patterns on his cheek.

"Would you like to stay here tonight? Maybe we could both get back to sleep," Hux asked him. 

Kylo reached out with the Force for just a moment, to test the sincerity of Hux's offer. Deciding that Hux really did want him to stay, he figured it couldn't hurt. He nodded at Hux, who _smiled_. It wasn't a grin, but it definitely wasn't a smirk or a scowl, and Kylo decided that he likes the general much more with a smile on his face. 

Retracting the hand on his face, and flipping up the one underneath Kylo's, Hux grasped the man's wrist, still so gently, and pulled him out of the chair and onto the bed. Hux lay back, bringing Kylo with him. As he arranged the blankets around them, Kylo pressed his face into the side of Hux's neck. Using the Force to turn off the light so Hux wouldn't have to move, Kylo dozed off. 

And when he jolted awake again not much later, Kylo was soothed back to sleep by a hand running through his hair.


End file.
